Rhymes and Reasons:
Coping With Chronic Illness,
CFS, FM, MCS,
and Other Stuff

Reasons:
Introduction:

Today, it seems, everybody wants to be a victim.

I believe the reality is: Stuff happens. To everyone.

Sometimes, stuff really happens.

When I applied for one of my first jobs, the gentleman conducting the interview looked at the list of injuries I'd incurred up to that point - broken collarbone, fractured skull, broken finger, broken foot, concussion - and asked, "Were you in an automobile accident?"

"No," I explained. "I managed to do those one at a time."

He seemed interested, so I gave him the details on each one. I must have held his attention. He hired me.

When it comes to what's happened to me, I'd rather not to think of myself as a victim. I much prefer overachiever. Along my life's journey thus far, in addition to other physical and mental bumps and bruises, I've also managed to acquire a combination of chronic, non-fatal conditions: CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), FMS (fibromyalgia), and MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities). Just more challenges.

When I first started putting together this book, I was technically and financially disabled. The former hasn't changed; the latter financial situation does seem to be improving. Even so, I have a long way to go. However, throughout it all, as I come to accept my limitations so that I can attempt to soar with my strengths, I refuse to think of myself as "down." I'm in transition.

I suppose it takes a certain amount of extra ego to believe that throughout these incidents I've gained experience about which others may wish to read. That remains to be seen. In the meantime, I write about them because that's my way to cope, sort things out, and make sense of it all at times.

Since any lifestyle change brings with it its own level of depression, I cannot pretend that this has been all fun and games. However, rather than stay depressed about something, I write about it. And, in doing so, I discover the lessons each incident teaches me.

I first realized I must be meeting my objectives with my personal essays when my friend Bishop said reading my work always makes him think of Rafiki. At the time, I had to have him explain. Rafiki is the baboon and seer in Disney's The Lion King. The most significant scene goes something like this: Rafiki hits the lion cub Simba with a stick. Simba protests. "Ouch! That hurts." "It doesn't matter!" Rafiki tells him. "It's in the past." Later, Rafiki tells Simba: "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it ... or learn from it." Now, I am proud of that description. I consider these my Rafiki writings.

When I stepped forward to accept The 1997 Midwest Writer's Workshop Manny Award for Nonfiction for my essay You've Gotta Crawl Before You Can Walk, I reveled in Holly G. Miller's description of the writing that won me the award. (I'm an award-winning author now!) I recall she said, "Pam includes all the necessary elements in her essay ... and she does so with humor ... and includes 'take-away value.'"

I hope you, too, find something in my words that you can take with you. I'll be honored if you do.

NOTE: I chose not to go with the original publisher's offer for my book, so publication is no longer pending on this gift book collection of essays, anecdotes, humor, and poetry. I'll announce it here and on my personal Web site when the book is available.

Since 1999, I've had 13 other books published and have worked as a writer, researcher, tech editor, and editor on numerous other projects.
Copyright © 1999-2005 Pamela Rice Hahn

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